It’s Dangerous To Cheat On Your Mistress!

It’s Dangerous To Cheat On Your Mistress!

In any adulterous affair there’s one implicit, inalienable fact—the adulterer has a mate at home and is Cheating Don't Cheat On Your Mistressprobably screwing both mistress and mate.

Oh sure, for expediency, the philanderer will protest his innocence.  Of course, he insists, the relationship with Wifey is no longer sexual.

Share a bed with Wifey?  Are you kidding–he sleeps in the spare bedroom.

But any mistress worthy of the name “home wrecker” knows deep down inside that the penis she’s with this afternoon has a good chance of being with someone else that evening.

A mistress may turn an obligatory  blind eye to this one betrayal.  See, it’s part of the Mistress Code.

What’s the Mistress Code, you ask?

Well, I just so happen to have a copy right here, and believe it or not, it actually confirms everything I stated earlier.  Specifically:

  1. Yes, your man has a wife waiting for him at home.
  2. Yes, he’s full of sh*t when he claims that he’s not still screwing her.
  3. And yes, bitch, that’s what you sign up for when you  accept being the mistress in the first place.

(I’m not making this stuff up.  It actually says that.)

Is Cheating On A Mistress Even Possible?

Cheating Don't Cheat On Your Mistress

The notion that someone’s who already cheating can be cheated on by the person they’re cheating with is enough to make your brain cells do the jiggly-wiggly and your eyes to cross.

But Philanderers Beware

It’s Dangerous To Cheat On Your Mistress!  Forget about the adage about hell, fury and a woman scorned.  You let this crazy chick find out you’ve been fooling around with somebody other than your wife–man, look out.  You’re booking a non-refundable ticket for a greased sleigh ride to the Land Of Hurt!

What’s the first thing every scorned mistress does?  Oh, baby, simple:

It's dangerous to Cheat On Your MistressSHE’S TELLING!

That’s right, she’s telling E-Very-BODY.  And she’s telling E-Very-THING!

Before she’s done, you’re gonna think she missed her calling as a journalism major.  Turns out she’s a whiz with names, dates, location, and those critical who’s and where’s that comprise the most compelling of narratives.

I mean they give out Pulitzers for this degree of insightfulness, candor and detail.  Except Ms. Mistress isn’t out for prizes, accolades, or hearty slaps on the back.

Can anyone say revenge?  Sweet, Cruel, Pay-Your-Cheating-Ass-Back-In-Spades Revenge!

But wait, it gets better:

Your wife is about to receive a special delivery DVD, featuring—you guessed it!—you and your illicit hanky panky honey going at it like two horny wildebeest during the annual Spring rut.

Trust me when I tell you this DVD is close up, graphic, triple X rated—and light-years beyond Parental Discretion Advised.

Ding!  Ding!  That’s your doorbell.  And your poor wife’s exclusive copy arrives just before Sunday worship service courtesy of your front door mail slot.

Ouch!

We all know that cheating on your wife is reprehensible.  But if that’s the way you chose to roll then, brother, roll on.  I’m certainly not your minister, nor have the inclination to scold, admonish, or vituperate against you.

Here’s the thing though:  Most common philanderers would be satisfied with banging just one piece of outside ass.  What kind of sick, greedy, gluttonous fu*k would double-down and compound their deceitfulness by cheating on the mistress too?

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Comments

It’s Dangerous To Cheat On Your Mistress! — 5 Comments

  1. Hey, GoGo!

    You’re so kind and sympathetic to the plight of the philandering man. And so optimistic about the purity of his intentions as regards his interactions with others of the female persuasion.

    Appreciate the visit.

  2. Thanks for stopping by, Diva.

    I sometimes find it ironic that people are shocked to discover that the person they’ve been cheating with–and thus their co-conspirator in deception–turns out to be…well, deceptive.

    They say there’s little honor among thieves. Maybe that old adage still has legs.

    “As soon as the mistress behaves at all like a wife (and they ALL do) then he’s gone…”

    I agree with this. If you’re going to nag me about taking out the trash, have a headache when I’m horny, yawn when I tell a tired joke–then I can get that at home. See ya!

  3. Q, as someone once complained to me as regards cheating, her voice almost childhood playground-like: “People just won’t play right!”

    Cheating is usually one of those “done in the dark but exposed in the light” endeavors, for the reasons we both just stated.

    I definitely lack the moral authority to advise any two consenting adults on what to do when the hankering hits them. But if you think you’re going to make a secret career of diddling somebody outside of your relationship, you’d be well advised to remember the warning above:

    People really don’t play right!

    • Aras:

      Being cheated on is definitely not a path to peace and contentment.

      It’s even more complicated if you’re cheated on by someone you’re cheating with. If that’s even possible.

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